I have been trying not to think about the bad things that can happen to Lou and trying to focus on the good things. After so many tears, worrying, and sadness, things are slowly looking up. After only three days of having the PayPal donations going, we have been able to raise $114.98! I decided to start posting on other Puggle, dog and Pug community pages on Facebook just to get the word out about Lou and six amazing people from about every different corner of the country all made generous donations for Lou.
I cannot express enough how excited and greatful we are for the support, especially from complete strangers with big hearts. It helps me to believe that there are still amazing, good hearted, helpful human beings out there who consider what other people are going through and want to make a difference for them. I didn't even know people like that still existed. Even if people cannot donate, it is helping us so much just by people sharing Lou's Facebook page and getting the word out about him. I would love to raise enough money for the surgery by my birthday, which is February 11th. That would be the most amazing gift ever.
I cannot help but picture him laying on the operating table, all opened up, sound asleep. I just have to keep the faith that the people working on him do this for a living and will put forth their best efforts to keep Lou breathing for me. I think that day will be the hardest day of my life so far. I will be waiting anxiously by the phone, just to hear that he came out of the surgery okay. He will have an epidural so that he will not feel anything around his bottom half for 24 hours after. I never want him to feel any pain and always want him by my side.
Lou has been here with me through everything. Matt, my fiance made a good point one day that no other dog will probably ever mean as much as Lou does to me. I used to work at the mall when I was 18 and would walk into the pet store every day to hold the dogs. This was before I had the knowledge that I have today about pet stores, puppy mills, etc. All I saw was this adorable three month old Puggle who looked depressed stuck in a cage with his sister. I had eyes for him right away. I would take him out every single day and play with him. He would bite on my jacket hood and nibble on my hair with his puppy teeth. His sister was adopted on day and he was alone. I came up with a game plan to get him. I knew a girl that worked at the pet store and she was able to get me half off of him. I was still a broke 18 year old. I expressed my love for this dog to my district manager and she was kind enough to lend me money for Louis. Another example of a generous act. The day I brought Lou home, I was so happy. I had never had a dog before. I loved taking him out and walking him, snuggling him, and just having him around.
I was pretty poor, so I moved a lot. From apartments with friends, to my car, to friends homes. Lou stayed with me the whole time. When I cried, when I still cry, Louis jumps on the bed next to me, lays right next to me and stares are me until I cuddle him. It is so nice just to have him to hold on to. I play with his floppy ears until I calm down. I can't imagine not having the comfort of him around. I find it unfair that he is so young and he has to go through these symptoms and issues that come along with this growing cancer. I never want him to be in pain, so I have a plan set to fix him. If the mass grows too large, he will not be able to go to the bathroom and will have to be put to sleep. I refuse to let that happen without doing everything in my power to help stop this growth.
I'm sure that I will be repetative with my future blogs, but it just helps me when a million things are going through my head about losing my dog. Thankfully, all of the thoughts today were good ones! I am still so touched that all of you are keeping us in your thoughts. Thank you for the support and kind words.
Lindsay, Matt & Lou